4 Best Cities in Pennsylvania

4 Best Cities In Pennsylvania

Awww f*ck yeah. We’re getting better each week. Last week, we talked about the 5 Best Cities for f**king I mean dating. This week we’re talking about cities surrounded by cow sh*t, and people yelling "d*ckheadddd” out of the window of a busted up 2004 Ford Taurus. Oh how I love this place so much. It’s my home state of Pennsylvania. I have a love/hate relationship with the state. The weather is sh*tty, but the food is great. One side is a fast paced as NYC, the other side is basically Ohio. You can’t buy alcohol in supermarkets, ride electric scooters, or purchase recreational w**d, but its beautiful. Well, I’ll tell you what, I’ve lived in 3 different parts of this state. So you have the perfect d**khead to give you a tour. So buckle up the seatbelt of your raggedy a** car, grab a cheesesteak or Primanti Bros Sandwich depending on which side of the state you’re on, and check out my Top 5 Best Cities in Pennsylvania.

Pittsburgh, PA

What the hell is “Yinz”? and why do you say “Pop” instead of soda? I thought you di**heads where in the same state. Maybe I was wrong. Pittsburgh is a unique part of Pennsylvania. The culture of the city is similar to the midwest, and is home to the Pittsburgh Steelers. Pittsburgh has more than 450 bridges, which is considered as the most in the world. Who the f*ck designed this city? Ronald McDonald? Anyway, the city is named as the best in the state, due to its low cost of living, endless food options, and stunning scenery. So if you’re looking for somewhere ugly like me, move here. Pittsburgh has a hilly topography, and is surrounded by the Allegheny Mountains. Ah yeah something beautiful I look at while massaging my b*lls. The city has a low cost of living, at 7% below the national average. Since Americans love debt, I thought I should mention that the median home price in Pittsburgh is only $259,900. When you purchase your new home, I will pretend to be a dog, crawl over i-376, and take a sh*t on the fresh marble floors. My mom told me when something is new, you have to break it in. I know, Im probably the reason no one like’s people from the northeast. Since most of us millienial’s and gen-z can’t afford a f**king small iced coffee from dunking’ donuts, you probably want to hear about renting. Well, its not the best, but its not too bad either at $1,427. Need a job? Well take your broke a** to PNC, which is headquartered in Pittsburgh. You can cash people’s checks, while vaping, and playing candy crush at the same time like I do. The city is also home to UMPC, Giant Eagle, American Eagle Outfitters, GNC, and Fed-Ex to name a few. Top attractions in the city consist of the Pittsburgh Zoo & Aquarium, Phipps Conservatory & Botanical Gardens, The Andy Warhol Museum, and PNC Park. Pittsburgh is great for those who want to live in a beautiful city, that’s affordable, with a sh*t ton of interesting things to do.

Harrisburg, PA

Awww sh*t we’re at number 2 on the list. This is my current place of residence, which means I’m a f*cking expert on the city. Well, not really. I moved to Harrisburg in November, and I’ll share my experience living here. The food is f*cking fantastic, the mountains are stunning, and I’ve met some of the nicest people in life. But to be honest, there’s something missing. I think that it’s the lack of community. Everyone stays to themselves, or maybe people just avoid me because my face looks like a burnt Italian sausage. Anyway, who cares what the f*ck I think. Harrisburg, Pennsylvania is great city to live in, as its offers affordability, stunning scenery, and a high quality of life. The city rests on the Susquehanna River, on Riverfront Park. It consists of a beautiful view, along with mountains, and dudes with little a** shorts on in 30 degree weather. Oh yeah, daddy likes. Harrisburg has recently ranked #44 on best places to live, beating out places like Charleston, SC and even Orlando. It must have a been a dude smoking c**ck on Skid-Row who made this list. When its comes to cost of living, Harrisburg is 13% lower than the national average. Housing is also 43% cheaper too, I just hope I get my mail next week. These f**kers. I may be slightly bipolar. Anyway, when you get here you have to check out The Broad Street Market. This food hall features food from all around the world. I knew I lived in the middle of nowhere when I saw Amish people in there. Employers in Harrisburg consist of Penndot, Ollies Bargain Outlet, Capital Blue Cross, and PHEAA just to name a few. While you’re here in this sh*thole, check out the Pennsylvania State Capital, City Island, and the Midtown Scholar Bookstore. There are many nice suburbs to check out as well. Colonial Park, Hershey, Hummelstown, Linglestown, Paxtonia, Camp Hill, and Mechanicsburg are excellent, as they all offer their own unique vibe. Harrisburg is a great option for those who need to rebuild, with its low cost of living, awesome scenery, and fantastic f**king food.

Lancaster, PA

I saw an Amish lady f****** on a horse in the middle of the farm. Oh yeah daddy. Now I can enjoy my w*** and coffee. Hopefully, someone doesn't rat on me in this small town. I mean who in their right mind would want to live in this sleepy f**king place? It smells like horse sh*t, and cr*ck pipes. You have to drive to Philly for everything, while sitting by somebody on a horse and buggy. However, Lancaster is a great city. Located in Central Pennsylvania, the city offers a high quality of life at an affordable price. The average cost of rent is $1,524, which an average square footage of 1,031. This enough for 10 big butts, 50 soft pretzels, and 30 of those nasty a** hoagies from Wawa. Just kidding, I love Wawa. Lancaster offers a slower pace of life, and is a magnet for families. Listen, just because its a small town doesn’t mean that there isn’t sh*t to do. You can head over to Lancaster Central Market, which consists of various foods, produce, and unique items from around the world. Lancaster is about 8 percent below the national average, which is excellent for living close to cow sh*t. Need some place to work? I got you. The city has several great companies, such as Lancaster General Health, Fulton Bank, and Franklin and Marshall College to name a few. While you’re there on the cornfield, check out the Lancaster Museum of Art, the Lancaster Science Factory, as well as Lancaster County Central Park. Some of the best neighborhoods in the area consist of Manheim Township, Salunga, Landisville, and Leola. Lancaster is great choice for those looking for a small town, affordable living, a relaxed pace of living, as well as for drinking milk directly from cow t*ts for fun. Thats how daddy likes it. Straight from the source.

Reading, PA

Reading? I heard that If you wanted to hide your money, put it in a f**king book. No one will ever find it. I also watch reading rainbow, while I draw on the tv with a yellow crayon. OHHHHH you meant Reading (pronounced RED-DING) Pennsylvania, don’t worry Big JJ’s got you with the facts. Reading is situated in close proximity to Philadelphia and Allentown, and its involvement in the railroad industry. I personally like the walk on top of the train with a few gl*zzy’s in my mouth. AYOOO. It is also one of the first cities where outlet shopping became a tourist industry. But I know you’re probably thinking..Why the f**k would anyone move to Reading? Well, I’m going to tell you. A median rent price of $875, along with a median home price of $212,228 it offers affordability. You can even drive the Weis and grab a d*** if you get hungry. If your looking for things you to do, check out Miller Center for the Arts, R/C Reading Movies 11 & IMAX, and the Santander Arena. If you’re looking for work, some of the companies in the area consist of Penske Logistics, Reading Health System, and Albright College. Some of the best neighborhoods in the area are College Heights, Southeast, and Northeast Reading. Overall, Reading is a solid option for those seeking affordability, fun activities, and a laid back lifestyle.

And there you have it family. Those are my list of the Top 4 Places to live in Pennsylvania. See you next week for some more crazy, ratchet, bulls*it. Make sure to share this newsletter and hit that subscribe. The WorstNeighbor Newsletter. Thank you for tuning in!!!